what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
