id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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