yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
