I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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