I wish my penis had an off switch
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The air taste purple.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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