Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What drink are we having for lunch?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
