Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
