Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
