why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
