that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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