help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
