No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
