Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
