i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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