Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
