He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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