The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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