do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
