used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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