just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
