Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
