Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
