i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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