We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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