and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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