Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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