She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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