So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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