My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
