I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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