Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
