im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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