Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
