I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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