Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize