i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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