THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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