dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
