yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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