Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
one might say we're banned from that church
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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