I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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