$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
