Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
