what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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