just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
