If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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