I just gift wrapped bread.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
