I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
