I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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