I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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