Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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