I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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