moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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