just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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