Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
